Ep. Models and Mortals
Charlotte: In some cultures, heavy women with mustaches are considered beautiful.
Samatha: And you're looking at me while you're saying that?

Charlotte: I just know no matter how good I feel about myself, if I see Christy Turlington, I just want to give up!
Miranda: Well, I just want to tie her down and force-feed her lard, but that's the difference between you and me.

Carrie: I began to realize that being beautiful is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park: completely unfair and usually bestowed upon those who deserve it least.

Carrie: I take that back. Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.

Miranda: When did all the men get together and decide that they were only going to get it up for giraffes with big breasts?

Samantha: I happen to love the way I look.
Miranda: You should. You paid enough for it.

Carrie: I thought I had come to terms with my looks the year I turned thirty, when I realized I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial.

Stanford: Oh my God, look at him. It's like he travels with his own personal lighting director.

Nick Waxler (Modelizer): My friends think I'm shallow. Sometimes I think they're right. Other times I think, hey—I'm fucking a model.

Nick Waxler (Modelizer): Why fuck the girl in the skirt if you can fuck the girl in the ad for the skirt?

Carrie: Modelizers are obsessed not with women but with models, who in most cities are safely confined to billboards and magazines, but in Manhattan actually run wild on the streets, turning the city into a virtual model country safari where men can pet the creatures in their natural habitat.

Ep. Bay of Married Pigs
Carrie: Charlotte treated marriage like a sorority she was desperately hoping to pledge.

Carrie: Everywhere I looked, people were standing in two's. It was like Noah's upper west side rent-controlled ark.

Ep. Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys
Carrie: Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte wondered when relationships had gotten so complicated. She yearned for the time when dinner was followed by dessert, not lubricant.

Charlotte: I'm afraid if I don't, you'll dump me, and if I do, then I'll be the up-the-butt girl. And I don't want to be the up-the-butt girl because, I mean, men don't marry the up-the-butt girl. Who's ever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt?

Cab Driver: No! No smoking in cab!
Carrie: Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.

Carrie: Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer.

Carrie: And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he spooned me.

Ep. The Power of Female Sex
Samantha: Money is power. Sex is power. Therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.
Miranda: Don't listen to the dimestore Camille Paglia.

Carrie: We had such a fantastic connection. Then he leaves me money. I don't understand. What exactly about me screams "whore"?
Miranda: Besides the thousand dollars on the end table?

Ep. Secret Sex
Carrie: I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

Samantha (on BS feminist book 'The Rules'): The women who wrote that book—they wrote it because they couldn't get laid, so they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad

Samantha: Don't worry, sweetie, don't worry! Nobody in New York notices a bus until it's about to hit them!

Ep. The Monogamists
Carrie: Come on, you wouldn't commit to a nice guy, given the chance?
Stanford: I can't even commit to a long distance carrier.

Random woman: Monogamy is fabulous. It gives you a deep and profound connection with another human being, and you don't have to shave your legs as much.

Ep. Three's A Crowd
Carrie: The closest Charlotte had ever come to getting screwed on a plane was the time she lost all her luggage on a flight to Palm Beach.

Carrie: Charlotte hadn't been that excited since she tried on her JV cheerleading uniform for the first time.

Ep. The Turtle and the Hare
Carrie: I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device.
Miranda: You haven't met 'The Rabbit.'
Samantha: Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.'

Carrie: I just love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes. It's so romantic!
Stanford: You only like it because she sleeps for a hundred years and doesn't age.

Sanford: It's so brutal out there. Even guys like me don't want guys like me. I just don't have that gay look.
Carrie: I dunno, you look pretty gay to me. C'mon, maybe it's just a phase.
Stanford: Puberty is a phase. Fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

Carrie: My Zen teacher also said: the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not worry about the future. Of course, he died penniless and single.

Samantha (about the Turtle): Once we get the breath under control, I'm going to take him shopping for a whole new wardrobe. He's a cute little fixer-upper!
Carrie: Sweetheart, he's a man, not a brownstone.

Ep. The Baby Shower
Samantha: So help me—she fucks on my couch, she buys it.
Carrie: Isn't that how you got the couch from me?

Miranda: Maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in Hansel and Gretel—she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.

Carrie (Buying a pregnancy test): Which kind do I get?
Miranda: Here. This one's on sale: half-off.
Carrie: I just spent $395 on a pair of open-toed Guccis last week. This is not the place to be frugal.

Samantha (Watching an old friend strip at a party): Look at her: the poster girl for low self esteem.
Miranda: You know, I have low self esteem, but I express it the healthy way—by eating a box of Double Stuf Oreos.

Samantha: Frankly, I think it's sad, the way she's using a child to validate her existence.
Carrie: Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?

Miranda: So all I have to do to meet the ideal man is to give birth to him.

Ep. The Drought
Carrie: New York City is all about sex. People getting it, people trying to get it, people who can't get it. No wonder the city never sleeps. It's too busy trying to get laid.

Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.

Miranda: You farted! You're human!
Carrie: I don't want him to know that!

Woman on the street: They say the average 33-year-old woman has sex 3.5 times a week. I'd like to know who that woman is.

Carrie: There are 1.3 million single men in New York, 1.8 million single women, and of these more than 3 million people, about 12 think they're having enough sex.

< back 

Ep. Take me out to the Ballgame
Charlotte: Oh God, seeing someone for the first time [after you break up] is the worst. You never know how to act.
Carrie: Yeah, and then there's the vomit.

Carrie: Miranda was a huge fan of the Yankees. I was a huge fan of being anywhere you could smoke and drink at two in the afternoon without judgement.

Miranda: How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts.

James: And how are the most beautiful women in Manhattan?
Miranda: If I see them, I'll ask.

Charlotte: It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.
Carrie: I always like a good math solution to any love problem.

Ep. The Awful Truth
Miranda: Sex is not a time to chat. In fact, it's one of the few instances in my overly articulated, exceedingly verbal life where it is perfectly appropriate - if not preferrable - to shut up. And now suddenly I have to worry about being stumped for conversation? No thank you.

Susan Sharon: It's 100% Italian cashmere and light as a feather.
Carrie: God, I love it! It's a cashmere-acle!

Ep. The Freak Show
Samantha: ... Going down, giving head ...
Carrie: ... Eating out ...
Miranda: I never understood that. Shouldn't it be "eating in?"

Samantha: Is he that bad in bed?
Miranda: No. He's just... he's a guy. He can rebuild a jet engine but when it comes to a woman... What's the big mystery? It's my clitoris, not the Sphinx.

Miranda: I'm sorry, if a man is over thirty and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out or propogating the species.
Carrie: Okay, well, what about us?
Miranda: We're just choosy.

Miranda: Orgasm? A major thing in a relationship?
Charlotte: Yeah, but not the only thing. I mean, orgasms don't send you Valentine's day cards and they don't hold your hand in a sad movie.
Carrie: Mine do.

Carrie: When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future monogrammed towels.

Miranda: Whatever happened to aging gracefully?
Carrie: It got old.

Carrie: The reality was, the only thing that went down with any regularity on Charlotte's dates was a Gold American Express card.

Ep. Four Women and A funeral
Charlotte: Everyone needs a man. That's why I rent. If you own and he still rents, then the power structure is all off. It's emasculating. Men don't want a woman who's too self-sufficient.
Samantha: I'm sorry, did someone just order a Victorian straight up?

Big: I never really thought about it.
Carrie: Oh come on. Everybody wonders what happens after you die.
Big: I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in the garage.

Ep. The Cheating Curve
Samantha: Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can.

Carrie: Well, I think maybe there's a cheating curve. That someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism!
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

Samantha: Nobody told me it was BYO man!
Carrie: Well, what did you expect? It's a lesbian art show.
Samantha: I know! But don't straight guys usually follow them around to see what they're going to do?

Ep. The Chicken Dance
Charlotte: I just don't understand. How could you forget someone you slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.

Big: This is fun.
Carrie: It's not supposed to be fun. This is somebody's wedding.

Carrie: It all seemed so familiar. She was having a deja fuck.

Ep. The Man, the Myth, the Viagra
Miranda: If 85% [of men] aren't circumsized, that means I've only slept with 15% of the population, tops.
Carrie: Wow, you're practically a virgin!

Carrie: I'm at Big's.
Miranda: You're at Big's? You and I are having dinner tonight!
Carrie: Well, he got this veal...
Miranda: You blew me off for a piece of politically

Ep. Old Dogs, New Dicks
Carrie: You've never seen an uncircumsized one?
Charlotte: I'm from Connecticut!

Samantha: If checking out other women is the biggest problem you're having with him, you're lucky.
Carrie: Well, if it's that small, then he should be able to stop.
Samantha: Oh please, you can't change that about a man. It's part of their genetic code. Like farting.

Ep. The Caste System
Carrie: Now I've laid down a gauntlet. He either has to say "I love you" back or I guess I'm going to have to break up with him.
Charlotte: Well, how long are you going to give him?
Carrie: Well, I didn't put an expiration date on the sentiment, but I figure it's got the shelf life of a dairy product. It's going to start to curdle in about a week.

Ep. Evolution
Samantha: I never leave underwear at a guy's place because I never see it again.
Charlotte: What happens to it?
Samantha: Nothing; I just never go back.
Carrie: Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?
Samantha: That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
Miranda: And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.

Samantha: Relationships have been on the decline ever since women came out of the cave, looked around and said, "this isn't so bad."

Charlotte: I have never done a number two at a boyfriend's place.
Samantha: Honey, you're so uptight, you need to do a number seven.

Doctor: Your right ovary has stopped producing eggs.
Miranda: Is it possible it's just on strike?

Charlotte: I am so confused. Is he gay or is he straight?
Carrie: Well, it's not that simple anymore. The real question is, is he a straight gay man or is he a gay straight man?
Carrie (voiceover): The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual male spawned in Manhattan as the result of overexposure to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theatre and antique furniture.

Ep. La Douleur Exquise!
Samantha: Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we," and their version of "we" is "me"... and my dick!

Charlotte (about a waiter dressed in a bondage outfit): How does he wait on tables dressed like that? It's humiliating.
Carrie: Well, the summer I worked at Howard Johnson's I had to wear an orange hat.

Ep. Games People Play
Carrie: I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.
Miranda: So what, you're like a flystrip for dysfunctional men?
Carrie: Yeah, but one of those really pretty floral scented ones.

Carrie: Hey, I don't need therapy. I need new friends!
Samantha: Look, we're as fucked up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind.

Samantha: The only place you can control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blow jobs we could run the world!
Carrie: And at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and stuff.

Carrie: Sports night: every female's fantasy. A room full of captive heterosexual men all looking to be distracted during commercial breaks.

Ep. The Fuck Buddy
Samantha: Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.
Carrie: Say it a little louder, I don't think the old lady in the last row heard you.
Samantha: You're going to take the only person in your life that's there purely for sex, no strings attached, and turn him into a human being? Why?

Carrie: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice and it didn't really go anywhere, but the sex is so great you sort of... keep him on call.
Samantha: Ooo, he's like dial-a-dick!

Carrie: It's a pattern.
Samantha: I don't have a pattern.
Carrie: In math, randomness is considered a pattern.
Samantha: Yes, and I'm what they call a prime number.

Miranda: You double-booked?
Carrie: How do you conceive pulling this one off?
Charlotte: Early dinner with bachelor number one, late supper with bachelor number two.
Samantha: My god, you're turning into a man!
Carrie (voiceover): Apparently Charlotte had done more than just break a pattern. She had actually changed genders.
Charlotte: I just don't know how I'm going to eat two dinners in a row.

Ep. Shortcomings
Charlotte (to Samantha): Is your vagina in the New York City guidebooks? Because it should be - it's the hottest spot in town - it's always open.

Carrie: I like him.
Samantha: Well, that's real swell, but it still doesn't get the cream in the cupcake.
Carrie: But the thing I like best about him is his family.
Samantha: Mmm! Anyone there you can fuck?

Charlotte (to Wesley): You don't know Samantha. I do. She has so many notches on her bedpost it's practically whittled down to a toothpick.

Duncan: I'm just one of those weird male aberrations who prefers to be married. I like stability, I like routine. I like knowing there's people waiting for me at home. I guess that makes me sound pretty dull.
Miranda: Are you kidding? You're the heterosexual holy grail.

Samantha: Get out now before he stains all your sheets!
Miranda: Oh, come on, that's harsh! It could be that he was just nervous.
Carrie: The first time is always weird.
Miranda: And he probably had something to drink.
Carrie: And we just spent the whole day with his family.
Samantha: LOOK. This guy could not get his Cadillac into the garage. Honey, I'm sorry. I hate being right about this.

Samantha: Here's what I think. Round up all the divorced men and keep them in a pound. That way, you get their whole history before you take one home.

Ep. Was it Good for You?
Carrie (about her date who wouldn't kiss her): I couldn't figure it out. I knew he wanted me because during my lean-in-and-kiss-me-good-night move, I accidentally on purpose felt his pop-up-and-say-hello.

Miranda: I'm trying to change my bed karma. I figure if I can make my bed a place I really want to be, others will feel the same.
Carrie: Aah, the Field of Dreams.
Miranda: Exactly. If you build it, he will come.

Miranda: Perineum. Latin for "not without an engagement ring."

Ep. Twenty-something girls vs. Thirty-something Women
Carrie: The Hampton's Jitney is just like the bus to summer camp. Only instead of singing songs, everyone ignores each other and talks on their cell phones.

Ep. Ex and the City
Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with.

Carrie: Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
Big: I don't get it.
Carrie: And you never did.

Carrie: You broke up with James because he was too small. This guy's too big. Who are you, Goldicocks?
Samantha: Yep! I'm looking for one that's juuuust right.

Carrie: There is no way that the love that I had with Big is the same thing that he has with Natasha.
Miranda: "Natasha?" When did you stop calling her "the idiot stick figure with no soul?"

Carrie: An hour later I had solved the unsolvable friendship equation. It seems the answer is this: cosmopolitans plus scotch equals friendship with an ex.

Miranda (crying): I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just... I hadn't seen you in so long and I missed you, and then I did that shitty thing!
Steve: It wasn't that shitty, really.
Miranda: It was! It was a shitty thing! I'm a shitty person!
Steve: You're not a shitty person.
Miranda: I am! I am shitty! You would never do anything so shitty!
Steve: What do you call showing up in the middle of the afternoon to call you shitty?
(pause)
Miranda: Yeah, that was pretty shitty.

< back 

Ep. Where There's Smoke...
Miranda: I do not have Steve. There is no having of the Steve. We're just friends.
Samantha: No, we're just friends. I don't put my dick in you.

Carrie: I lost my Choo!

Ep. Politically Erect
Samantha: I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.

Charlotte: I can't believe you're dating a politician. You're not even registered to vote!
Carrie: It's the undecideds they're really after.

Carrie: I figured we made a good match. I was adept at fashion; he was adept at politics. And really, what's the difference? They're both about recycling shop-worn ideas and making them seem fresh and inspiring.

Ep. Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman
Miranda: What's in your goodie drawer? Robert's Rules of Order?
Charlotte: I don't have a goodie drawer.
Carrie: Oh, everybody has a goodie drawer.
Samantha: I have a goodie closet!

Miranda: Do you have a rolling pin?
Carrie: On me?
Miranda: In your kitchen.
Carrie: Are you kidding me? I use my oven for storage.

Miranda: I love how they say "until recently, the bride [worked]."
Carrie: Yeah, meaning she quit her job as soon as she found her soul-mate-slash-investment-banker.

Carrie: There are very few things this New Yorker loves as much as Sunday brunch. You can sleep until noon and still get eggs anywhere in the city, alcohol is often included with the meal, and Sunday is the one day a week you get the single woman's sports pages: the New York Times wedding section.

Ep. Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl
Samantha: I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Carrie, about her date: He's not that young.
Miranda: He's twenty-six. His generation has a totally different letter than ours.

Carrie: He's a bisexual.
Samantha: I could've told you that, sweetie. He took you ice skating for god's sake!

Sean (while ice-skating with Carrie): I'm guessing it's easier to balance when you're not smoking.
Carrie: Smoking is the only thing that keeps me balanced.

Ep. No Ifs, Ands or Butts
Charlotte: ...you shouldn't be talking like that at all, Samantha, it's rude and politically incorrect.
Carrie: Sweetie, a reminder: Samantha is rude and politically incorrect.
Miranda: She's an equal opportunity offender.

Ep. Are We Sluts?
Charlotte: Do you think I'm a whore?
Samantha: Oh please, if you're a whore, what does that make me?

Samantha: They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein!

Miranda: I can't tonight, I have chlamydia.

Carrie: Wow! It's like a Danielle Steele novel in here!
Aidan: From a writer, I'm pretty sure that's an insult.

Ep. Drama Queens
Miranda: I just don't get it. Why do men get skidmarks? Is it laziness or are they just in a rush?
Carrie: I don't know, but whatever it is it goes hand in hand with urinating on the seat.
Miranda: I tell you one thing: when your boyfriend is so comfortable he can't be bothered to wipe his ass, that's the end of romance right there.

Samantha: From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

Miranda: Steve is completely predictable but that's one of the things I love about him. He's just so comfortable and safe.
Carrie: Are you dating a man or a minivan?

Charlotte: You kept all of your great single friends away from me just so you could cheat on your wife? (Slaps him.) You should be ashamed of yourself!
Guy: You're such a spark plug! I love that about you!
Charlotte: I am not interested in starting some married man's car!

Carrie: I realized I was in the throes of an existential crisis. One that not even the sight of this season's Dolce & Gabbana strappy sandals could lift me out of.

Ep. The Big Time
Charlotte (looking at a catalog): Oh my god! Vagina weights!
Samantha: Honey, my vagina waits for no man.

Charlotte: Did you know I read that if you don't have sex for a year, you can actually become re-virginized?
Carrie: And, I would imagine, quite frisky.

Carrie: So you're "everything but" girl.
Charlotte: I like to think of it as "kissing with extras."
Carrie: How very ninth grade of you.

Charlotte: Do you have another?
Carrie: Ladies, I am not Tampax central. Put on list: buy tampons.
Charlotte: Well, I have them at home but they won't fit in my Kate Spade purse.
Miranda: Wow—Kate must have a tiny vagina.

Steve: Oh come on, I want a baby. It would be fun.
Miranda: It's not like owning a foosball table, Steve.

Charlotte: How old were you [when you lost your virginity]?
Carrie: Eleventh grade. Seth Bateman. His smelly rec room. Half a joint, three thrusts, finito.
Charlotte: Eew!
Carrie: And P.S.—it was on the ping pong table.

Charlotte: Listen to this: sometime in the ten years before menopause, you may experience symptoms including all-month long PMS, fluid retention, insomnia, depression, hot flashes or irregular periods.
Carrie: On the plus side, people start to give up their seats for you on the bus.

Miranda: I do not want [a baby] eventually and my clock is running out... I mean, I've only got like a million viable eggs left.
Carrie: Three hundred of which we just killed with those martinis at lunch.

Ep. Easy Come, Easy Go
Adam: Come on, give me a little BJ, up and down a couple times, you're done, it's easy!
Samantha: Easy? You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'!

Mr. Big: Hey, have you got a light?
Carrie: I quit.
Mr. Big: Aw, we always used to share a cigarette together.
Carrie: We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.

Carrie: I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.

Charlotte: I proposed to myself!
Carrie: What?
Charlotte: Yes. I suggested he have a tomato salad, then I suggested we get married.
Carrie: Wait. What exactly did he say?
Charlotte: Alrighty!
Carrie: Alrighty? He said alrighty? Now I'm thinking the upsetting thing isn't that you proposed, it's that you proposed to a guy that says "alrighty."
Charlotte: Oh, Carrie, stop!
Carrie: Alrighty.

Samantha: Maybe there's something he can eat to make it sweeter.
Carrie: Maybe you should write to Martha Stewart.
Miranda: "Dear Martha: Funky spunk. Help."

Samantha: Well, let's just say it: you won.
Carrie: Was there a contest?
Samantha: Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."

Charlotte: Trey is this close to proposing, I can feel it.
Carrie: Oh my god, really?
Miranda: You just met! I've had pairs of pantyhose longer!

Aidan: Don't take this the wrong way but this place could use a little work.
Carrie: I know, but I can't afford it.
Aidan: You've got eight thousand bucks' worth of shoes over there.
Carrie: I needed those!

Ep. All or Nothing
Female police officer: Ma'am, it's against city law to deface public property.
Samantha: This man said he loved me and I caught him eating another woman's pussy.
Female police officer: Carry on, ma'am.

Samantha: Ladies! Seamen, twelve o'clock!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around there are sailors, because with her, you never know.

Carrie: It's over for me. Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots 'o' shoes.

Samantha: I can't even be around that man. He's dangerous and toxic.
Carrie: So he's manthrax?

Anthony: When's the last time you had sex?
(Charlotte pauses to think.)
Anthony: If you had to think about it it's been too long.
Charlotte: Well, when's the last time—
Anthony: 10:30 today at the gym!

Samantha: I'm starving! Where's the food?
Miranda: They're WASPs. There's never food, only booze.
Samantha: Fine. One martini, six olives.

Sailor: Evenin', ma'am.
Samantha: Ahoy matey! Nice dickey!

Ep. Running With Scissors
Nurse: Do you swallow?
Samantha: Only when surprised.

Carrie: You've heard those stories about affairs where people realize how great their other relationship is and end it without anyone being the wiser.
Miranda: I don't watch Lifetime television for women.

Carrie: It was a typical downtown male mix. Ten percent Wall Street, ten percent real estate, and ten percent [Samantha had] already slept with.

Carrie: When Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend.

Carrie: Our affair, like our hotels, had gone from elegant with crystal to seedy with plastic cups.

Samantha: What if I have it?
Carrie: You don't have it.
Samantha: Sometimes it takes me a really long time to get over a cold.
Carrie: That's not AIDS, it's central air conditioning.

Ep. Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Charlotte: Is it so much to ask that you not wear your dress up around your see you next Tuesday?
Samantha: My what?
Charlotte (drawing characters in the air): C - U - Next -
Carrie: Tuesday? Oh my God! Was that a schoolhouse rock I missed?

Charlotte: [After the wedding] I finally get to sleep with Trey.
Carrie: Excuse me?
Miranda: You haven't slept with him yet?
Samantha: Honey, before you buy the car you take it for a test drive!

Charlotte (whispering): Could you please not use the F-word in Vera Wang?

Samantha on kilts: I like the idea of men in skirts. Easy access.

Ep. Escape From New York
Charlotte: So how are you?
Carrie: I'm good. How are you?
Charlotte: Great.
Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me.
Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon.
Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or should we get two guns and kill ourselves?

Guy: This floor's non smoking!
Carrie: I have an addiction, sir!

Samantha: I've got something to make you feel better. (Hands Carrie and Miranda packages.)
Carrie: Oh! Dildos before 10 am! I'm all perked up!

Miranda: Why didn't you just get an automatic?
Carrie: I love this car! It goes with my outfit.

Ep. Sex and Another City
Charlotte: My marriage is a fake Fendi!

Miranda: Maybe it's time that I stop being so angry.
Carrie: Yeah, but what would you do with all your free time?

Charlotte: Could you have more condoms?
Samantha: I did, yes.

Carrie: One woman's pornographer is another woman's spiritual leader.

Ep. Hot Child in the City
Carrie (Answering machine message): Hi. I'm not here but my shoes are, so leave them a message.

Carrie: So are you saying there's no way you'd go out with a guy who lived with his family?
Samantha: Well... maybe Prince William.

Carrie: When you're a teenager, all you want to do is buy beer. But once you hit 30 all you want to do is to get carded.

Samantha: Are you in pain? I'm in pain just looking at you.
Miranda: I'm a 34-year-old woman with braces and I'm on a liquid diet. Pain doesn't begin to cover it.

Psychiatrist: One client rather whimsically dubbed his anus "the chocolate starfish."
Trey: Are you quite sure you went to Yale?

Ep. Frenemies
Charlotte: We've been trying, you know, to...
Samantha: Fuck?
Charlotte: Whatever. And it's just not...
Samantha: Getting big and hard?
Carrie: What is this, dirty Mad Libs?

Samantha: Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Miranda: Everybody masturbates.
Samantha: Mmm, I did it this morning.
Carrie: Well, that explains why I got your voice mail.

Miranda: They're starting to die on us.
Charlotte: Oh my god.
Samantha: Well, at least you weren't stood up.
Miranda: 35 and they're dying! We should just give up now.
Carrie: Well, on the bright side this could explain why they don't call back.
Charlotte: How did he...
Miranda: Heart attack. At the gym.
Carrie: See? This is why I don't work out.

Samantha (On Charlotte): That girl needs the stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie, pronto!

Jim: I'm an engineer now.
Carrie: On the railroad?

< back 

Ep. The Agony and the 'Ex'-tasy
Carrie: I'm thirty-five.
Samantha: Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm a hundred and forty.

Carrie: I'd like to think that people have more than one soulmate.
Samantha: I agree! I've had hundreds.
Carrie: Yeah! And you know what, if you miss one, along comes another one. Like cabs.

Ep. The Real Me
Carrie: Your vagina's depressed?
Charlotte: The mood elevator sort of corrects the imbalance.
Miranda: Wait a minute, how do you know your vagina's depressed?
Charlotte: There are symptoms!
Carrie: Like what, it can't meet its deadline?
Miranda: It always wants to go to Krispy Kreme?

Miranda: Smart, yes, sometimes cute, but never sexy. Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.
Carrie: You win men over with your personality?

Stanford: Oh my god! She's fashion roadkill!

Ep. Defining Moments
Samantha: There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you - a lot of them were hung .

Ep. Ghost Town
Maria: You call this a relationship?
Samantha: Well, it's tedious and the sex is dwindling, so from what I've heard, YES!

Charlotte: Your mother decorated this entire apartment, didn't she.
Trey: Of course! Mother does all our houses.
Charlotte: I should have known. The plaid, and the mallards...
Trey: You don't like them?
Charlotte: No! It's like we live in the Museum of Natural Ugliness!

Ep. Baby, Talk is Cheap
Carrie: How did this happen? How did they get the message that the ass is now on the menu?
Miranda: I bet there's one loud-mouthed guy who found some woman who loved it and told everyone 'women LOVE this!'
Carrie: Who is this guy?
Miranda: Who's the woman who loved it?
Samantha: Don't knock it 'till you've tried it!
Carrie: Bingo!

Miranda: He kind of ... licked my butt.
Samantha: Be specific. Do you mean the cheeks, or...?
Miranda: It was more localized than that.
Carrie: Wait a minute. Are we ... are we talking tookus lingus?

Carrie: I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Charlotte: I promise I won't become one of those mothers who can only talk about diaper genies.
Carrie: Good.
Samantha: What the hell is a diaper genie?
Carrie: I don't know... someone you hire to change a kid's diaper?

Ep. Time and Punishment
Carrie: I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies: two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

Samantha: Men. We have to run to Helga the Hot Waxer every other week, but them? How would they like it if we told them to shape their hedge, trim their trunk?
Carrie: Plant their bulbs? I'm sorry, we are talking about gardening, aren't we?

Ep. My Motherboard, My Self
Samantha: I've lost my orgasm.
Carrie: In the cab?
Charlotte: What do you mean, 'lost'?
Samantha: I just spent the last two hours fucking with no finale.
Carrie: It happens. Sometimes you just can't get there.
Samantha: I can always get there.
Charlotte: Every time you have sex?
Carrie: She's exaggerating. Please say you're exaggerating.
Samantha: Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes! When I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.

Carrie: Now let's retrace your steps. Were you on top?
Samantha: How is that relevant?
Charlotte: You mean you can have them on the bottom?
Samantha: Top, bottom, upside down...
Carrie: All right, now you're just showing off.

Charlotte: You exchanged keys? That's big!
Carrie: No, that's the opposite of Big.

Charlotte: Those flowers were supposed to say "We're so sorry, we love you," not "You're dead, let's disco"!

Charlotte: Whose legs bend back that far?
Miranda: This is like sex for the boneless!
Samantha: See, that's what I love about this guy, Nick, I'm seeing.
Miranda: He's de-boned?

Ep. Sex and the Country
Carrie: Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries and a cosmopolitan.

Carrie: The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires.

Trey: She's expecting us. If we miss the orchid show she'll be devastated.
Charlotte: Then I guess we'll just have to have sex at your mother's.
Trey: People having sex in Connecticut? There's a first time for everything.

Ep. Belles of the Balls
Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it.

Miranda: [Women] care about nice arms, great eyes, big dick! I have never once heard a woman say "he had such a big, full scrotum."

Charlotte: We're having Trey's sperm tested.
Miranda: Is it not doing well in school?

Miranda: There's nothing to be embarrassed about; he's still got one.
Carrie: Miranda, they come in a set. Like earrings.

Charlotte: I bought you this.
Trey: Juggs?
Charlotte: I know how much you like them!

Ep. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Miranda: He only has one ball and I have a lazy ovary. In what world does that create a baby? ... It's like the special olympics of conception!

Aidan: Well, if Miranda doesn't want the kid, can't she just give it to Charlotte?
Carrie: No ... it's not like a sweater.

Samantha: If it's so hard to get pregnant, how do you account for the number of crying children on planes?

Ep. Just Say Yes
Charlotte: We're not barren, we're reproductively challenged!

Ep. The Good Fight
Miranda: I don't know... is it okay to fuck one guy when you're pregnant with another guy's baby?
Carrie: If one more person asks me that today...

Samantha: This is why I've never lived with a man. This and the fact I want them out an hour after I climax.
Miranda: You let them stay a whole hour.

Samantha: Okay, you want details? Okay. He's got the most perfect dick I've ever seen. Long, pink, amazing. It's dickalicious!

Carrie: Someone once said that two halves make a whole. And when two halves move in together, it makes a whole lot of stuff.

Carrie: I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know: They are people who have recently moved in wtih someone.

Ep. All That Glitters
Samantha (answering the phone): Well, it's about fucking time! Come over here and do me!
Carrie: Is that your standard greeting now?

Miranda: Why don't straight men have bodies like this?
Carrie: Because gay men have the possibility of sex at the gym. If straight men had that they'd be working out all the time too.
Samantha: I've had sex at the gym.
Carrie: See? Samantha's doing her part to motivate the masses!

Stanford: I saw the way you were behaving. You're sleeping with the beautiful man!
Carrie: The beautiful man is gay.
Stanford: Damn! An accent always throws me.

Ep. Change of a Dress
Samantha: I think I have monogamy. I must have caught it from you people.

Miranda: It's amazing. In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person.

Carrie: Ooh! I forgot about the washer and dryer! I've been dreaming about that my whole New York life!

Ep. Ring a Ding Ding
Carrie: I'm homeless! I'll be a bag lady! A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady!!

Carrie: I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have noplace to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!

Miranda: I'm telling you: the fat ass, the farting - it's ridiculous. I am un-fuckable. And I have never been so horny in my entire life. ... That's why you're supposed to be married when you're pregnant, as somebody is obligated to have sex with you.

Samantha: Roger, honey, you've seen my bush. We're a little past acting coy.

Ep. A 'Vogue' Idea
Samantha: Oh honey, I have tricks she hasn't even seen!
Carrie: And those tricks ain't for kids!

Samantha: Is a three-way with a 21-year-old a bad idea for Richard's birthday?
Carrie: What are you going to give him next year? A four-way?

Ep. I Heart NY
Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

Samantha: I'm always surprised when anyone leaves New York. I mean, where do they go?
Miranda: The real world?
Samantha: A homeless man showed me his dick on the way here. It doesn't get any realer than that.

Samantha: If you want out of this, just say it.
Richard: I don't want to have sex once and I want out?
Samantha: What about yesterday?
Richard: We were at the opera!
Samantha: I was bored!

Samantha: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore. If it's bad, you just had sex with an ex.

Charlotte: Miranda has a son!
Samantha: Just what the world needs: another man.

Carrie, to Big: You can't leave New York! You're the Chrysler Building! The Chrysler Building would be all wrong in a vineyard!

< back 

Ep. Unoriginal Sin
Carrie: Men who are good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.

Samantha: My friends don't believe you.
Richard: Am I dating your friends?
Samantha: With your track record I wouldn't put it past you.

Carrie: So you're a pessimist, right?
Miranda: Have we met?

Miranda: He got scared? ... When I get scared, I hide under the covers, not between somebody's legs.

Miranda: He has to get baptized and wear a dress.
Carrie: Baby's first drag show!

Ep. Luck Be An Old Lady
Miranda: Why do we get stuck with old maid and spinster and men get to be bachelors and playboys?

Samantha: No wonder the house always wins. These guys are smothered in breasts. I don't know what I was thinking bringing a cheating man to Atlantic Titty!

Carrie: People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates: hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

Miranda: I am so excited! I have been dreaming of being alone with these for months.
Carrie: I love that The New Yorker is your porn.

Miranda: Today's the babynurse's last day. From now on you'll have to book me a year in advance.
Carrie: Wow, you're like Nobu.

Ep. Cover Girl
Charlotte: What kind of diet book are you looking for?
Miranda: I don't know. Something with a title like 'How to Lose That Baby Fat by Sitting On Your Ass.'

Stanford: Before I tell you, you have to promise not to judge.
Carrie: Do I judge?
Stanford: We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts; we judge.

Samantha: I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever—and blow whomever—I want as long as I can breathe and kneel!

Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-paced city. And you, naked with nothing but your ideas.
Carrie: I get it. But, see, no matter how fast paced the city, I always manage to get my clothes on before I leave the apartment.

I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel. !

Ep. Plus One is the Lonliest Number
Miranda: I didn't tell Walker I had a baby.
Charlotte: How could you not mention it?
Miranda: It didn't come up! If Walker had asked me directly, "have you given birth recently," I would've said... first of all, define "recently."

Stanford: I don't want to seem like a nobody now that I have a somebody.
Carrie: Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody when you have nobody?
Stanford: Well, apparently you're nobody until somebody loves you.

Charlotte: He should've mentioned her earlier.
Samantha: But not too early. I hate it when men do that. "I have a girlfriend." Calm down, I just asked if that seat was taken!

Ep. Critical Condition
Carrie: Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me?
Samantha: Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house.

Miranda: No, he's not sick. He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. I'm doing everything I can but I can't please him. If he was 35 this is when we would break up.

Ep. I Love a Charade
Samantha: All married couples stop having sex eventually.
Miranda: That's not true, you've had sex with plenty of married people.
Samantha: That's how I know!

Carrie: Why did she need to tell me the sex was amazing?
Samantha: Because it is amazing. She's amazed he's able to get it hard without another penis in the room.

< back 

Ep. To Market, To Market
Carrie: I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Samantha: I love the stock market. A room full of screaming, sweaty men, all trying to get it up.

Ep. Great Sexpectations
Samantha: Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Carrie: Meanwhile, I was finally confident I could heat up my sex life, because I was a sex columnist, I was resourceful, and I was drunkitty drunk drunk.

Ep. The Perfect Present
[Miranda pulls a chain of condoms out of her diaper bag.]
Samantha: Oh, honey, isn't the baby birth control enough?
Miranda: They're Steve's. And Debbie's, his new girlfriend, that's her name. Debbie.
Carrie: Where are they doing it, Gymboree?
Samantha: Debbie does daycare.
[Brady picks up the condoms and puts them in his mouth. Charlotte is horrified.]
Samantha: Oh, honey, relax. I have those in my mouth all the time.

Charlotte: Doesn't that waiter look familiar?
Samantha: I fucked him.
Carrie: Oh! That guy!

Charlotte: Carrie, you have to know where he's been so you know what you're getting.
Samantha: As long as what you get doesn't itch, I say you're fine.

Samantha: Tell me why we're going to this again?
Carrie: She's an old friend going through a breakup. We're being supportive.
Samantha: On a Friday night?
Charlotte: She tried to kill herself!
Miranda: It was six Advil!
Charlotte: On an empty stomach!

Ep. Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little
Samantha: I tell you, it is so refreshing to be with someone who likes to fuck outside the box.

Ep. Lights, Camera, Relationship
Samantha: All of Manhattan is here.
Miranda: Who's watching the island?

Ep. Hop, Skip and a Week
Smith, looking at his Absolut Hunk billboard: Fuck me!
Samantha: Well, that's the first thing every woman in town will be saying after she sees it.
Smith: It's huge!
Samantha: And that's the second.

Ep. The Post-It Always Sticks Twice
[Miranda can fit into her "skinny jeans."]
Charlotte: How'd you do it?
Miranda: Well, I got pregnant, became a single mother, and stopped having any time to eat.
Samantha: Oh, that's a diet I won't be trying.

Miranda: I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. "I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever."

Ep. The Catch
Samantha: Listen, when you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Smith: What's that rule out?
Samantha: Mmmm, there are things. Karaoke, I don't do that.

Miranda: He was funny. And cute.
Carrie: Yeah, and in town for a week! What's the point?
Samantha: That IS the point! It's the best possible scenario, because you know he's leaving.
Carrie: But it's like whatever happens, there's an expiration date. It's expiration dating.

Carrie: I tried the trapeze yesterday for that piece that I'm writing.
Charlotte: I could never! I have the most terrible fear of heights.
Carrie: Well, I do not. You've seen my shoes.

Harry: I'm just here to drop off the photo proofs and the seating chart. We're going to have a quick bite to eat and then I'm going to take the place cards to the calligrapher.
Howie: And after that, if there's time, we're going to go around the corner and try to find our balls.

Ep. A Woman's Right to Shoes
Carrie: Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?

Samantha: I'm so sick of these people with their children. I'm telling you, they're everywhere! Sitting next to me in first class, eating at the next table at John Schu— [A child runs by.] Look at that. This place is for double cappuccinos, NOT double strollers. [Glances at Miranda.] I'm sorry.
Miranda: Hey, no need to apologize. I wouldn't bring Brady here. Mommy needs two hands to eat her eight-dollar cake!
Charlotte: You're not going to defend children?
Miranda: No, I don't like any children but my own.

[Harry has moved in with Charlotte and tends to leave used, wet teabags sitting around.]
Charlotte: There's just one thing and it's small, but it really grosses me out. We have a teabag situation.
Samantha: Oh, I understand. Just breathe through your nose.

Carrie: It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!

Carrie: We've had a swell time, it's just ... it's midnight, he's gay, he's got to start his night.

Stanford: I also got them a CD of Free To Be... You And Me.
Carrie: I loved Marlo Thomas! I played that album all through the fifth grade. I wanted to run as fast as the wind.
Stanford: I played "William Wants A Doll" so many times I almost turned my little sister into a gay man!

Carrie: And how are [your chicken pox] today?
Miranda: Biblical. There's literally a pox on my house.

Ep. Boy, Interrupted
Carrie: I wanted a man who'd commit, not a man who was committed. Apparently we have to be more specific.

Miranda: I just got Brady to sleep.
Dr. Leeds: Now, do you sing to him?
Miranda: Only if he's been bad.

Charlotte: Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader?
Miranda: No, because you knew I would mock you endlessly.

Anthony: Oh, honey, wake up and smell the KY.

Ep. The Domino Effect
Charlotte: Big is in town?
Carrie: Yeah, he's here for a little heart thing.
Miranda: What, is the on the list to get one?

Big: So I guess this is what we'd be like in our 70's. No sex and board games.
Carrie: Aww, you're already thinking about your next birthday?

[Carrie is crying in a restaurant.]
Big: She's fine. Can you bring some extra napkins ... and some violins?

Carrie: Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping?
Samantha: I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit.

Carrie: Bet you can't get steaks like this in your little Napa village, now can ya?
Big: Where do you think this cattle comes from, a ranch on Canal Street?

Ep. One
Samantha: It's red! ... I'm Bozo the bush!

[A performance artist is starving herself and refusing to speak while on public display.]
Aleksandr: You don't think it's significant?
Carrie: Oh please! There are depressed women all over New York doing the exact same thing as her and not calling it art. I mean, if you put a phone up on that platform, it's just a typical Friday night waiting for some guy to call.

Ep. Let There Be Light
Charlotte: Imagine, being blind and not being able to see a beautiful day like today. Can you think of anything worse?
Anthony: Stonewashed jeans and a matching jacket.

Samantha: So, how were they?
Carrie: The pancakes? Delicious, exactly what I wanted. I couldn't get enough.
Samantha: No, I was referring to the moves.
Carrie: Delicious, exactly what I wanted. I couldn't get enough.

Charlotte: I could see it going somewhere.
Carrie: Oh please, listen, half the time I can't even understand him. We have nothing in common, he's in and out of Europe ...
Charlotte: That could be good!
Samantha: Honey, you're not listening. She only wants him to be in and out of her.
Carrie: Yes, but in a much less obvious-sounding way.

Ep. The Ick Factor
Miranda: I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says virgin. I have a child. The jig is up.

Miranda: Tell me what you're talking about.
Samantha: I'll tell you tomorrow. I don't want to ruin your special day.
Miranda: Forget about my special fucking day and be normal, please, I beg of you!
Samantha: I have breast cancer.
Miranda: What?
Samantha: See? Now it's my special fucking day.

Carrie: How about I read you a little bit of my favorite poetry?
Aleksandr: Please.
Carrie: [Reads from Vogue] "Cocktails at Tiffanys calls for classic charm. Oscar de la Renta sleeveless silk full skirted dress with black patent leather bow belt." Now that is pure poetry.

Carrie: So yesterday, the Russian read me a Russian poem. But, you know, in English.
Miranda: Are you just making this stuff up now?
Carrie: No. And this might sound crazy but I don't think it's an act. I think he actually means it.
Miranda: That doesn't make it okay! Has he considered your feelings?

Charlotte: Well, it all sounds very old world to me. Very 18th century Russia.
Carrie: Yes, and I live in New York City circa now. I think it's romantic when someone offers me a seat on the subway.

Aleksandr: Are you okay?
Carrie: No! I'm an American. You gotta take it down a notch.

Charlotte: I can't believe you would actually consider having a boob job.
Miranda: I can't believe you went to Planet Hollywood.

Ep. Catch-38
Miranda: What I don't understand is, if they got it all, why do you need chemo?
Samantha: Because he's an asshole!
Carrie: Evidently there could be something microscopic.
Samantha: Like his dick!
Carrie: Excuse me, do you have cancer or Tourette's?

Miranda: I'm sorry, Steve, I'm an asshole.
Steve: Yeah you are. But you're my asshole.
Miranda: That's sweet. And gross, at the same time.

Charlotte: Is it safe? Are there stairs? What about sharp edges?
Carrie: Charlotte, it's a death trap. We're just going to strap a pillow around the kid and hope for the best.

Miranda: Last night Steve and I held hands for an hour and a half watching ... the fire. He was looking into my eyes; I was looking for the remote.

Miranda: I'm in the woods in my negligee and my cell phone only has two bars left. HELP!

Charlotte (on Brady): I'll take him! I'd love to take him! He's adorable.
Miranda: It's four days. Adorable stops after a day and a half.

Ep. Out of the Frying Pan
Carrie: Samantha is my friend. She's my family. My insides. She will be fine because she has to be fine. That's how important she is to me.

Carrie: It would be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing. But for this night, none of us were going anywhere. That's the thing about really good friends and a really great Manhattan.

Miranda: Samantha, I have to say, you are amazing.
Samantha: I am. And if you love me in chemo, wait till you see me at Smith's movie premiere. I'm getting a hot dress, fantastic shoes... I'm going to kick cancer andthat red carpet's ass!

Cab driver: Where to?
Miranda: Um, Brooklyn, please.
Cab driver: I don't go to Brooklyn.
Miranda: Yeah, neither do I.

Miranda: Why do I think living in Manhattan is so fantastic?
Carrie: Because it is.

Samantha: What if it comes back? I could die, Carrie. With really bad hair.

Miranda: Oh my God ... I'm married.

Aleksandr: It was a rodent. You don't want this in your house.
Carrie: Well, maybe he was just crossing through to get to the much nicer apartment next door.

Ep. The Cold War
Miranda: I had to walk all the way from the subway in these heels. My feet are killing me.
Steve: Why didn't you just carry them and wear sneakers like everyone else?
Miranda: Stop. You can take me out of Manhattan but you can't take me out of my shoes.

Carrie: Trouble! Elizabeth Taylor just got her period.
Samantha: What?
Carrie: Mmm hmm, backstage. That time of the month.
Miranda: I thought she looked a little bloated.
Stanford: And she was so bitchy earlier.

Anthony: That is the fourth person to stop and gush. I swear that dog's getting cruised more than me, and we're on the corner of gay and gay.

Smith: Are you sure you want to do this?
Samantha: It worked for Paris Hilton. I need to set the record straight - literally!

Miranda: I don't talk to Steve about my work.
Carrie: And he doesn't mind?
Miranda: I think he prefers it that way.
Carrie: But you guys share everything else.
Miranda: Because we're in Brooklyn. There's no one else to talk to!

Ep. Splat!
Samantha: We're not going to encourage you to cross an ocean. We're selfish bitches who like you in New York!

Samantha, about her vibrator: I'm telling you, I went into the kitchen to get it—
Miranda: Wait, why was it in the kitchen?
Samantha: I like to mix it up.

Carrie: Maybe I can't leave New York. I don't know how I'd do someplace else.
Samantha: Believe me, your fabulousness would translate.

Carrie: He's very sweet. And smart!
Enid: He's a Hobbit!

Ep. An American Girl in Paris (Part Une)
Big: You're the loves of her life and a guy's just lucky to come in fourth.

Samantha: Would you like another cocktail?
Carrie: No, no, no, I can't be drunk on the plane. I want to arrive stunning and impossibly fresh looking.

Ep. An American Girl in Paris (Part Deux)
Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

Carrie: I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. And I don't think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.

Big: It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Carrie, you're the one.

< back